"Thunder" (Thunder)
03/17/2015 at 11:00 • Filed to: None | 13 | 24 |
AKA Going Ballistic On A Bike.
I had to try the fixie craze, so I bought one on Amazon. Under $150 delivered, it weighs probably twice what my mountain bike does. I rode it around with the flip-flop hub allowing it to freewheel, so it was just a single speed, then I tried it fixed.
It was pretty good toolin' around my neighborhood, so I took it a little farther afield. Got heading down a really good hill, spinning like mad, and there are speed humps on this road. First few went OK, as I kept telling myself not to level the pedals and bunny-hop over them.
I forgot on the last one. I leveled the pedals.
Let me explain that. I stopped pedaling and set my legs rigidly. However, the wheel continued spinning. Therefore, so did the pedals, at roughly 1/3 the speed of light. That meant that I was slammed by the upward-rising back pedal, firing me into the air at the aforementioned 1/3 of lightspeed.
This would have been entertaining by itself, as I became a ballistic object, but there's another factor. I had clips and straps on the bike, so my feet were affixed to the pedals. As I started on my ballistic path, then, the bike came with me.
I wish someone had had a camera handy, as I feel like I flew over that speed hump at an altitude sufficient to read on air traffic control screens. However, what goes up must come down, and by this point, I had no control whatsoever over the events unfolding. That is how I happened to come down upon my bike's saddle, bending the seat post in the process. Somewhere in the sequence of events, my feet came out of the pedals. What was left of the seat amazingly supported my weight, the pedals were whirling like a propeller, and I held my legs out to the sides so the pedals wouldn't chop them off. As the road sloped up, I finally slowed, and stepped off onto a curb.
I looked around, but didn't see any dumbstruck onlookers to bow to. I hobbled around a little bit (I had, after all, crashed down on the seat quite... sensitively), then took out my tool kit and got to repairing the seat enough to get home.
When I got home, the FIRST thing I did was flip the back wheel to the freewheel side.
Never again will I ride a fixie.
Never.
Party-vi
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:04 | 14 |
jkm7680
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:05 | 0 |
Gahhhhh
Sportwägen, Driver Of The Red Sportwagen
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:06 | 1 |
I give you a 9.1 on the landing
MonkeePuzzle
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:07 | 1 |
lol, I crashed my bike because my legs got flung off the pedals
MonkeePuzzle
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:08 | 1 |
$150 for a functional bike, that's truly not bad! perfect for a commuter that might get stolen.
B/Xmrrmvr
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:09 | 0 |
I had to try the fixie craze
Well there's your problem right there. My personal life rule is that I never ride anything that doesn't have brakes.
MrDakka
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:13 | 0 |
Thanks for the lulz; did you get off your bike nonchalantly as if you meant to do that?
Thunder
> MonkeePuzzle
03/17/2015 at 11:14 | 0 |
Ouch!
Done stuff like that before. It's not fun.
OPPOsaurus WRX
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:15 | 3 |
i will never understand the point of a fixie. the whole simplicity aspect of it seems to make the bike too impracticable.
McMike
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:18 | 2 |
I'm always on the fence about making statements about how stupid I think fixies are. They are inconvenient, never geared right, have shitty braking, and are just around for people to try to make themselves feel unique... It's just a fucking bicycle, why the hell would you chose to ride something so primitive and simpl.....
Then I look in my garage, and realize that I should probably just STFU.
CalzoneGolem
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:19 | 1 |
Wait, I thought they were called fixies because they only had one gear but you're telling me that they have no idler gear? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
CounterTorqueSteer
> OPPOsaurus WRX
03/17/2015 at 11:20 | 2 |
Simple? Yes. Impractical? Yes. Still cool? Absolutely.
DipodomysDeserti
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:20 | 0 |
A kid on a fixie sans helmet almost rode out in front of me as I was crossing through an intersection yesterday... in a '63 Corvair. That would not have gone well.
505Turbeaux
> Party-vi
03/17/2015 at 11:23 | 0 |
cant stop wont stop
Tohru
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:23 | 0 |
That'll learn ya for being a dirty hipster.
uofime
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:28 | 0 |
I thought that the rear tire was supposed to be sized such that you could easily lock the wheel and skid it instead of having the pedals spin like mad when shit goes wrong.
That's not to say that would have been an ideal situation going over a speed hump either.
GTI Sprinks
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:28 | 0 |
ooof. heavier than your mtb? i suppose for $150 that's really all you can expect. As someone who rode a fixed gear for two years i can say i've definitely had my share of embarassing moments (read as bombing curvy campus sidewalks and getting pedal strike leading to spectacular rolling of tire bead and immediate blowout of tube). Pedal straps were helpful then (this was before i was invested in clipless setups). It's certainly something that takes a little experience to develop into smooth riding as it was different, but high-speed spins down hills and clearing of curbs became easier eventually. I eventually got out of it as my interests shifted toward bike polo where freewheel is a better option and one my knees thanked me for.
In short: fixed gear, fun to a point, and useful for exercise; not for the majority of riders in the world.
Party-vi
> CounterTorqueSteer
03/17/2015 at 11:33 | 2 |
I don't really see how a Cobra is impractical. You can get groceries, go to work, even fit a top for inclement weather. PERFECT CAR!
CounterTorqueSteer
> Party-vi
03/17/2015 at 11:36 | 0 |
You've got a point...
ACESandEIGHTS
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 11:45 | 1 |
Not to sound like an insufferable hipster, but back in 1999 when I was stripping down my first old-ass Fuji frame for this purpose, I referred to things as "single-speeds," and figured a free-wheeling skinny tire bike with a rear break was as minimalist as things needed to be.
Later on I would read about contemptible, awful, black-souled, coddled, little bitch-like hipsters saying "a fixie is just a frame, wheels and chain and you ride it without a helmet because it's supposed to be an embrace of the concept of enjoying the experience without weighing it down by endless accessories." That's paraphrasing what some pompous narcissist Sufjean Stevens fan has surely said several times.
Hmmmm. Well, let me tell you, Mr. embarrasingly-coiffed, dirty-clothed, cigarette-reeking, PBR-stained, bad-music-loving, vapid know-nothing with a blank stare, I'm fairly old and even in Ye Olde Dayes, we wore helmets and had coaster brakes and reflectors and tried to keep from being killed.
So, if 70s/80s love for bike culture degenerates into idol-worship by some low-life, pickle-pinching-jeans-wearing, hand-rolled-cigarette-toting, Japanese-analog-stereo-component-collecting, artisinal-food-pimping dickhead, well, it shouldn't invade the mainstream, nor even the edgy enthusiast's realm, and we don't need it. We don't even need to experience it.
But kudos to you for putting yourself out there.
Did I mention that hipsters are condescending wastes of space with inflated senses of self worth who are stealing our air even as we speak? Unbearable, smug, self-serving little pricks. They can keep their frickin' bikes
and their silly little Brooks saddles
. I've seen dozens quietly abandon their shitty 700cm shitpiles because they're about as fun to ride as what you've described here.
Gimme my two bits back, hipster.
Thunder
> ACESandEIGHTS
03/17/2015 at 12:18 | 0 |
I like to consider myself a cyclist.
I have a Fuji Newest road bike; I ride with my local MS benefit group. I ALWAYS run a headlight and taillight, always a helmet, almost always have a camera recording.
I also have a Gary Fisher mountain bike, a Trek T1000 tandem, a Bike-E recumbent, a Miele converted to singlespeed, and this heavy as all get out Vilano. I do all my own maintenance; I did the conversion myself; converted my Fuji to a compact double and 105 components; I build my own custom cassettes to suit my physical fitness and the terrain expected.
All that said, I sometimes do appreciate the simplicity of a singlespeed. Got a hill? Pedal harder. Downhill? Can't spin fast enough, might 'swell take it easy. That's key for me - I tend to always be pushing too hard; getting on a singlespeed makes it easier for me to justify easing off. All my bikes have two brakes, BTW - it's hilly around here, not a flat cityscape, so the ability to stop is required.
This Vilano I have set up as a rain bike, BTW. Being so inexpensive, I'm not worried about it. Weighing a ton already, why not put fenders on it? I changed out the flat bar for a bullhorn - and now that I have used it, I would not do so again. But it is what I wanted to try, for what that's worth.
Not sure I have a point, other than the usual that the number of bikes one needs is N+1, where N is the number of bikes one has already. Also, that having a $150 bike makes it much easier to use for errands around town. But to really go ride, I'm taking my Fuji road bike, for sure.
And I've never considered myself a hipster; not sure I'd even recognize one if they tripped me.
StndIbnz, Drives a MSRT8
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 12:59 | 1 |
I really don't get these bikes. We have fixed all of their issues and problems, only to make new ones that bring back everything we tried to fix?
Nice landing anyways!
Destructive Tester
> CounterTorqueSteer
03/17/2015 at 14:07 | 0 |
There's elegant simplicity (the Cobra) and then there's simplicity just because nobody has thought of anything better but since they have its now useless (fixie)...
ACESandEIGHTS
> Thunder
03/17/2015 at 14:54 | 0 |
It looks pretty cool for a single speed ride, especially with the bullhorn bars.
You gotta sell that recumbent though. Especially with having bikes for all other causes. I would ride across the state on a road bike, mountain bike, anything really, but a recumbent... hmmmm. It's like that one jacket you bought that you always thought would come in handy but you've never had a need to wear and deep down you think it looks silly on you.
I'm sure there's an old guy with a beard and mirrors sticking out of his helmet who is just chomping at the bit to get on that thing.
Bear in mind old guys with beards also gravitate towards Goldwings and roadsters and whatever, but those things are somewhat cool.
It's keepin' it real Tuesday here for me I guess. Don't take much of this seriously.